Well, a lot has happened over the past year. Not all of it good, and some of it absolutely amazing. For some of it to make sense, let's have a look-back on my life...
1996: Born, 11th January.
2001: Turned 5, started school - Reception.
2003: Turned 7, made friends with one Bethany Cody - Yr. 2 at school.
2005: Turned 9, had major friend issues. Friends fighting with other friends, friends stabbing me in the back, making a fool of me (previously mentioned friend within all friend issues.) Yr. 4 at school.
2007: In an attempt to fit in with the cool kids, did something incredibly stupid that haunted me until year 8 in 2 years time. I was beginning to discover a mild attraction to girls, but I thought it was nothing. Yr. 6 at school.
2008: Had my first couple crushes - both on girls. At 12 years old, I discovered that I wasn't completely straight, and thought I was bi. Last year in Primary school.Joined deviantart. My parents are fighting more than ever here.
2009: Both crushes from previous year faded, comfortable with being bi, but didn't broadcast it. Decently good grades, constantly bullied by home group. Lessons with 810 were hell, but I found comfort in my lessons that included people from homegroup 806. In particular, Tess Pettit, Alan Boyle and Morgan Petrie. Met Natalie Rasic on the 15th of July. Parents starting to split up.
2010: Bad, bad year, with some minor happy things. Parents divorce and my dad moves to a house where I'm typing this right now - 10 minute bus drive away from my mum's place. I go to dad's on the weekends (a week every month). On top of my parents divorcing, my best friend (Bethany Cody) becomes suicidal and depressive, and leaves me with a lot of stress and depression. I become depressed. I think of killing myself, because I think I'm too weak to handle the pressure of friend problems, family problems and school work. I'm never brave enough to do anything like cutting, and I obviously didn't kill myself. Some time during this year I go see a counsellor every Wednesday (and miss out on maths! Woo!) to try to feel better. During this, I developed the tiniest crush on Natalie. To the end of the year, on October 31st, I meet Eve Gray by finding her on deviantart and browsing her gallery... Talking to her becomes somewhat of a morning ritual. I wake up, check deviantart, reply to her, go to school, go to sleep, wake up, check deviantart, reply to her, etc. She becomes a happy part of my mornings. Meanwhile, my crush on Natalie grows, then disappears about a week after telling her. I start to talk to Eve on MSN and webcam her, staying up til all hours of the night.
And now.... News on this year thus far
-January was kinda uneventful. I had my 15th birthday in Queensland during the floods, which was fun >> I used my phone every day to talk to Eve, and recieved a birthday picture on deviantart from her. ( http://evemonsta.deviantart.com/art/Jamie-says-Happy-Birthday-192931849 ) I had my birthday dinner at an AWESOME Japanese place. We had to fly home from the Gold Coast, because we couldn't get back to Brisbane.
-February was also pretty uneventful, in my memory... had about a week-long crush on Alan, but that was meh. Talking to Eve on MSN pretty much every day, webcamming all night on weekends. Looking back, I must have had a subconscious crush on her.
-March.... now, March is the interesting one. 7th of March 2011, I had a dream. I can't remember how it started, but there's a section I remember clear as day.
It was like I was watching a movie with a picture frame... one of those really old fashioned detailed ones, made of gold. In the centre of the picture frame, where a picture would be, my SOSE teacher (I have no idea why he was there, but it was implied that he was Eve's dad or something... it was weird) said, "I know you two are a couple, but that really doesn't mean you have to have so many kids." All of a sudden, it changed to Eve and I sitting on a grassy hill with a clear blue sky. We were holding hands, and suddenly kids just walked into the frame. Eve was giving them all a great big smile and hugging them, and I was just watching with a smile on my face. She then came to me and put her arms around me... and then I woke up.
I got onto the computer as fast as I could and managed to sign into old MSN (internet was being iffy) and told her about my dream. (Not the kids bit, as I thought that would be awkward, but basically telling her that we were together in the dream.) I was so nervous talking to her. I was shaking so hard, it was hard to hit the right keys. After the brief explanation of the dream, I thought for a bit, then said,
(Quoted from the conversation, spelling and all)
"I think I'm nervous because I wouldn't actually mind it (being in a relationship with her)"
She said,
"lol It's kinda embarressing to say, but I wouldn't mind it that much either"
She said,
"lol It's kinda embarressing to say, but I wouldn't mind it that much either"
We talked for a little. I was scared crapless, and I was still shaking. Jamie became our new word for soppy or corny (inside joke XD don't ask)
Me - "I suppose it isn't a good time to ask who you're bi for again xD;"
Eve - "Well, I guess there's really no need to ask"
Eve - "my god, you're right, this really is Jamie XD"
Eve - "my god, you're right, this really is Jamie XD"
Who knows how long later (Time was going so fast) I had to go to school. At the end...
Me - as Jamie as it is, ily XD;;
Eve - Well then, as Jamie as it is, ilyt.
Eve - Well then, as Jamie as it is, ilyt.
That's how I came to be in my first relationship.. and just recently I've come to the conclusion that I'm purely lesbian, not bi. I'm still with Eve, and my love for her has grown immensely since that day. I can hardly go a day without talking to her.
So, that's my soppiness over and done with. I didn't expect myself to ramble as much as I did... oh well xD
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